Is Your Persona Holding You Back From Love?
Why People Avoid The Truth In Relationships
Do You Believe What You See In Your Love Life?
Dating Discomfort Is Leading You To Love.
Stop Focusing On “Blocks” To Love So You Can Really Find Your Partner
They Laughed At My Dreams, But I Didn’t Let That Stop Me.
Is The Crumb-Grabber In You Controlling Your Love Life?
Why People Lie In Relationships
Should A Woman Pursue A Man If He Doesn’t Call?
Do You Draw Your Self-Esteem From Others?
There Are No Mistakes In True Love
What Stops You From Being Your Best?
The Treasure In Obstacles On Your Path To Love
What I Want In A Man
Can A Middle-Aged White Guy Be A Feminist?
This is What Dating an Alcoholic is Like
Taking the Guesswork Out of Sober Dating
Sex and the Sober Girl
Not a big fan of the term "evolution" for reasons you mention, but I've seen this strategy work out just fine, though usually it works out because it is the less interested in poly from the start partner who suggests that they are ready to open things up.
I suspect that the big cause of relationship failure is not the agreement to open the relationship up someday, but the fact that one of the people making the agreement didn't ever really want to be poly in the first place. Dating people who don't really want to be poly is a great way to screw up a poly relationship.
cons: those you mention, plus the possibility that one partner is never ready to open things.
pros: it really does lead to a stronger "primary" bond, if that is what you are looking for.
Is it possible to screw up a relationship in the way you note above? Of course! But we've all seen a fair number of poly-from-the-start strategies fail utterly too.
I think you go to far in characterizing this approach as doomed to failure.
Posted by mason_bryant on February 14, 2011 at 12:42 PM · Report
8
Wrong!
The example given was Revolution NOT evolution. Evolution takes millions of years. There is nothing slow about Pats "dog in heat" request.
Taking baby steps is absolutely the best strategy for having an open relationship with a lover.
Posted by DirtyYoungExec on February 15, 2011 at 7:49 AM · Report
9
Evolution is always a painful process. In nature, it involves the death of those ill-suited to the environment. That doesn't necessarily mean those who are the strongest survive, or that one iteration of evolution is better than the last, it just means that it fits the environment better.
I also expect that an "evolution" from monogamy to polyamory would also be a painful process, likely one that involves the death of ill-suited relationships. But then, every relationship fails. Until one succeeds.
Why People Avoid The Truth In Relationships
Do You Believe What You See In Your Love Life?
Dating Discomfort Is Leading You To Love.
Stop Focusing On “Blocks” To Love So You Can Really Find Your Partner
They Laughed At My Dreams, But I Didn’t Let That Stop Me.
Is The Crumb-Grabber In You Controlling Your Love Life?
Why People Lie In Relationships
Should A Woman Pursue A Man If He Doesn’t Call?
Do You Draw Your Self-Esteem From Others?
There Are No Mistakes In True Love
What Stops You From Being Your Best?
The Treasure In Obstacles On Your Path To Love
What I Want In A Man
Can A Middle-Aged White Guy Be A Feminist?
This is What Dating an Alcoholic is Like
Taking the Guesswork Out of Sober Dating
Sex and the Sober Girl
Not a big fan of the term "evolution" for reasons you mention, but I've seen this strategy work out just fine, though usually it works out because it is the less interested in poly from the start partner who suggests that they are ready to open things up.
I suspect that the big cause of relationship failure is not the agreement to open the relationship up someday, but the fact that one of the people making the agreement didn't ever really want to be poly in the first place. Dating people who don't really want to be poly is a great way to screw up a poly relationship.
cons: those you mention, plus the possibility that one partner is never ready to open things.
pros: it really does lead to a stronger "primary" bond, if that is what you are looking for.
Is it possible to screw up a relationship in the way you note above? Of course! But we've all seen a fair number of poly-from-the-start strategies fail utterly too.
I think you go to far in characterizing this approach as doomed to failure.
Posted by mason_bryant on February 14, 2011 at 12:42 PM · Report
8
Wrong!
The example given was Revolution NOT evolution. Evolution takes millions of years. There is nothing slow about Pats "dog in heat" request.
Taking baby steps is absolutely the best strategy for having an open relationship with a lover.
Posted by DirtyYoungExec on February 15, 2011 at 7:49 AM · Report
9
Evolution is always a painful process. In nature, it involves the death of those ill-suited to the environment. That doesn't necessarily mean those who are the strongest survive, or that one iteration of evolution is better than the last, it just means that it fits the environment better.
I also expect that an "evolution" from monogamy to polyamory would also be a painful process, likely one that involves the death of ill-suited relationships. But then, every relationship fails. Until one succeeds.